THE LOAN SHARK
Sharkus interesticus
INSTITUTE CLASSIFICATION: Financially Dangerous
OFFICIAL STATUS: 
INSTITUTE ORIGINAL
ARCHIVE: Institute Originals / Ocean Oddities
CASE STATUS: Account Under Investigation
CASE SUMMARY
Institute Headquarters recently received a disturbing report from Field Researcher Coops.
He borrowed:
One sardine.
He was told repayment would be simple.
Several days later he apparently owed six.
The lender was described as having sharp teeth, an expensive-looking fin and an unusually friendly manner.
The Institute immediately opened a financial investigation.
CLAIMS UNDER INVESTIGATION
CLAIM #1
Loan Sharks inhabit oceans around the world.
CLAIM #2
They lend fish to other fish.
CLAIM #3
They charge unreasonable rates of interest.
CLAIM #4
They can smell unpaid debts from several kilometres away.
Initial Institute Assessment:
Claims appear financially concerning.
Legal Department notified.
ORIGIN & HABITAT
Reported throughout oceans worldwide, particularly around:
Shipwrecks
Treasure chests
Schools of financially inexperienced sardines
Researchers claim they can smell unpaid debts from several kilometres away.
RECOGNISED BY
Sharp teeth
Expensive-looking fins
Suspiciously friendly smile
Briefcase
Calculator
Questions such as:
“Have you considered our repayment options?”
KNOWN FOR
Lending small quantities of fish and expecting considerably larger quantities of fish in return.
The Loan Shark describes itself as a:
“Fin-ancial adviser.”
The Institute does not.
FUN FACTS
Maintains remarkably accurate records.
Has never forgotten a debt.
Frequently says, “We need to discuss your account.”
Believes interest rates should always be interesting.
Has never explained the administration fee.
Accepts sardines.
Prefers more sardines.
BEHAVIOUR
When encountering a fish in need, the Loan Shark will:
Offer assistance.
Explain the benefits.
Smile reassuringly.
Provide one sardine.
Wait.
Researchers consider the waiting part particularly concerning.
INSTITUTE FIELD NOTES
FIELD REP #9
Interview conducted.
Subject offered researcher one sardine.
Repayment terms unclear.
Researcher now owes six sardines.
Investigation suspended pending legal advice.
EYEWITNESS REPORT
Mick the fisherman claims he borrowed one sardine and agreed to repay two.
Three weeks later:
He owed seventeen.
Mick notes that at least the Kraken never charged interest.
WARNING SIGNS
Exercise caution if you encounter:
An unusually friendly shark
Offers that sound too good to be true
Complicated repayment schedules
The phrase “low introductory rate”
A shark carrying a calculator
WHAT THE EVIDENCE SAYS
Sharks?
Real.
Loans?
Real.
Sharks providing loans?
No.
The Institute’s official book investigation concludes that researchers
have found no evidence of sharks offering loans, investment advice or repayment plans.
This does not explain Coops’s six-sardine debt.
Finance Department continues investigating.
OFFICIAL FINDING
INSTITUTE ORIGINAL
No recognised shark species offers personal finance.
No marine biologist has documented a shark issuing credit.
And Sharkus interesticus does not appear in any respectable scientific database.
The Loan Shark is therefore classified:
INSTITUTE ORIGINAL
ACCOUNT STATUS: OVERDUE
AMOUNT OWING: 6 sardines
Coops disputes this figure.